More than you realize. You encounter negative people on a daily basis. The key to not letting their negativity affect your health comes down to two words. Empathy and Sympathy.
When you are empathetic to a persons problems, you simply are feeling their pain. It’s quick, it’s healthy, it’s normal. A person who has a bad day or is facing a tragic experience, you will be empathetic. You momentarily put yourself in that persons place and feel what they are feeling.
You feel sympathy for someone who lost a loved one in death or someones troubles, if they are sudden and this person usually has a bright outlook on life but is faced with something they have to deal with. For example, a person didn’t pass their bar exam, or pass a test , or fail to make a decision based on fact and faced the consequences anyway.
Let’s call these people Negative Natalie, and Negative Neal. Negative Natalie depends on your sympathy. She will tell you horrible stories of her life and hold you to her because you think she is too fragile to get away. She constantly reminds you that she is miserable, doesn’t even like herself and needs you to feel sorry for her. That is her trap. Whenever you start to pull away, she will reel you back in with tales of sorrow. She thinks everyone is out to get her, and will try and take what is not hers just because she can’t have it. Problem is, once she gets it, she doesn’t want it anymore and leaves behind a trail of broken marriages and broken homes and hearts. She always wants what she can’t have. Her tales of sorrow will keep you. She will tell you she will do for you what your significant other won’t but will never follow through. It’s a mind game and negative people are very good at it.
Negative Neal, though alot like Negative Natalie will win hearts and friendship by crying out their problems to who ever will listen. Once they see a spark they will light the flame. Most of Negative Neals goals, as in Negative Natalie, is to get something for nothing. Give me this, give me that, but don’t ever expect a single thing in return. Could be as simple as buying a cup of coffee or rewarding the abundance of coupons and pop bottles they get from you by giving you something they got a really good deal on. No, to the negative people, you owe them because they are so miserable and you should keep giving and giving and giving, because now, you do owe them because simply put, you are now in their life and you must carry their sorrow too.
Dealing with Negative People
I practice and actively use empathy for a persons problems. If it becomes problematic, like every single day, they are in so much distress, I simple excuse myself and do not partake of the cry talking. I have a thing I do and a friend many years ago told me to do this and now it is like almost daily. Whenever I encounter a negative person, and I get stuck hearing their story, I walk away, find a wall, pull all the sorrow they just laid on me out of my body, roll it in my hands, I pretend it’s fine china, and throw it against the wall and I can see it shatter in a million pieces. It is done. They cannot trap me. I won’t let them.
I fell into the trap before. I had a friend who came to my house everyday and told me how bad her life was, how lucky I was to have such a good life, why oh why can’t she get lucky like I did. She really was a good friend, but it got to the point I could not carry her problems with me. It started affecting my life too. This, for some reason was making her happy. I saw the happiness at my dismay, and it hit me. I cannot do this anymore. The next day she came to my door, I stopped her in her tracks. I told her if she did not have anything positive to share with me, that she needs to go back home. She went home, and I felt bad. The next day she came back, this time with some positive conversation. I had to stop her. I realized that her saying I was so lucky was wrong. I had what I had because I worked very hard for it. Luck has nothing to do with it. She, on the other hand sat in her sorrow waiting for her happiness to come to her, she wanted everything I had, I gave her a few things to brighten up her day. But, I had to stop her completely. She kept trying to make me as miserable as she was, and it almost worked. Manipulation is a strategy that negative people are very in tune to. If they can take it from you instead of going out and getting it themselves, they accomplished their goal.
when you wake up tomorrow, you should say outloud, stay away negative people. If you don’t, all the healthy food or tea or changes in your life won’t really matter. your stress level will affect your heart, you will lose your hair, you will get depressed and not even know why. It’s because your carrying this persons sorrow with you. Let it go. Throw it against the wall, throw it over a cliff, flush it down the toilet, however you can do it, get rid of it.
I felt This was important enough to write this Post
This website is all about Health and living Healthy. That includes the mind, body and soul. We need to work on all aspects of life that can affect our health. Stress is a killer. Don’t slowly kill yourself for Negative Natalie or Negative Neal. It will end up costing you your sanity, your hair, or your happiness.
When you Work in a Place with Many People Like I do
You will encounter these people. I work in a factory. I gravitate to people who are like me. I am a happy person. I am funny, and very generous to my friends for what ever they need. All of the people I associate with are the same. We laugh, we buy each other coffee, we go to bingo or the casino after work. We have fun. When one of us has a problem, we all rally to help, then it’s done. It doesn’t linger.
To all the other ones who are miserable, I use my newly found word on them. Bitchcraft. I love this word. It is what we all need. The ability to ward off negative people with a simple phrase, I don’t deal with negative people, the word got around that I am not sympathetic and I won’t be dragged down in their sorrowful life. I avoid conversing, and just do my job. I have been considered a person that is not to be messed with, and I enjoy my day, simple because I have no negativity to ruin it. I choose to be this way. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to come across as a mean person. I am tactful. But if you need my help, I will be there. I rescue animals on a regular basis, and sometimes people who truly need it. Not the ones who depend on it. Factory life is so diverse. All kinds of people work there. If you don’t have a little tact or control over your feelings and your life, you will be eaten alive by wolves. It’s like no other place I have ever worked. So, If you work in a factory, you know what I mean.
You will find Negative People in every walk of Life
Hopefully, you will learn how to recognize the difference. It is a very thin line. Use your intuition. Meanwhile I suggest to those who are carrying someones sorrow a nice warm bath with epson salts or some Yoga exercises. Yoga is very relaxing and I can rid my mind, body and Soul of any negativity that crosses my path. Imagine your on a beach sipping a fancy drink and throw your negative feelings in the sand and kick the dirt over it. Imagine it smothering in the sand and dying. Now, it is done. So, now you can sit there and truly enjoy your drink and relax while your negativity that you picked up somewhere is gasping for breath and trying to get back to you. You can watch it slowly die in the sand. Once it is away from you, you need not worry about it. Repeat after me, NOT MY MONKEY, NOT MY CIRCUS. That also staves off the gossip that some people can’t wait to tell you. I stop that too. I don’t care who’s dating who, or who’s doing who wrong. what’s the point? You don’t need it. Mind your own and others will see that.
I Hope You Enjoyed my Post
I feel it necessary to point out the fact that many people who say they are happy for you really aren’t. The genuine ones are, but the few, and you already know who they are, will try to rain on your parade. they will try to come at you with their sadness and thus, ruining your hopes and dreams.
I just can’t stress enough about negative people. i see it everyday. They always go after the really nice people that they can manipulate and use to their advantage. So if you are one of those very nice people as I feel I am, you can still keep negative people away from you by following my steps. It works, it’s tried and true and if you concentrate really hard, you will find it is your second nature and your radar will be fine tuned to spot these negative people a mile away.
It’s for Your Health and Well Being
It all goes together. You cannot do one without the other. It doesn’t work. Stress will damage your day to day living and eventually cripple or kill you. It’s dangerous and you can control it. Open your mind. Learn to say NO and keep on trucking. You will be happier, I promise.
I would love to hear from you concerning this topic. Please leave comments and questions and I will get back to you right away. I would love to hear your stories about your encounters with negative people and how they impacted your life. We can discuss ways to distance from all negativity in your life and allow you to be free of this unwanted energy that can be damaging to you health and virtually every aspect of your life. It is a powerful source and you may not even know it’s there, It’s subtle and sucking your time and wasting your energy. I prefer to call it parasitic.
Have a Bountiful Day
Founder of bountifulharvesting.com